I'm So Excited and I Just Can't Hide It!

I'll keep this short, promise. I've hit another milestone, I'm finally under 200lbs, 197lbs to be exact! Hard work is paying off! I still have "fat days", I guess everybody does. Sometimes, I "can't" see the changes in my body but today it's been confirmed by practically every single moving thing: "you look different", "have you lost weight?", "where's the other half of you?", "looking great", etc ...

Just loving it! 47 more pounds 'til my goal weight!

Ranting ...

Yes! I need to get new clothes. It's nothing new but it's pretty official now. I'm drowning in most of pants that even a blind person can notice. I guess my hard work is definitely paying off. Even though the weight isn't coming off as fast as I would like (I know pulling Biggest Loser numbers is impossible), I'm glad that I'm still shedding some pounds.

I have and must go shopping but I hate it! There's nothing worse than walking into a store, seeing some nice clothes and then picking the largest size only to find out that it doesn't fit! It really does hurt one's ego and unfortunately I've been there way too many times.

2008 is barely over, time sure flies. My 26th (yikes) birthday is approaching and looking back at things, I've let my weight rob me from life's pleasures. I've missed out a lot! I'm in control now & there's no going back.

A Jillian Michaels Blog: Ditch the Fear of Screwing Up

I just love Jillian, she's the best! I'm attributing my success to her and she's my motivation. Yeah, I know, I haven't had the chance to meet her ... yet! Thanks Jillian !
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Ditch the Fear of Screwing Up (Jillian Michaels).

Let me give you a scenario. You were working out hard and eating right, but then you had one slip-up. You skipped a workout one day, or you overstuffed yourself at dinner one night. So then you decided this whole diet-and-exercise thing wasn't worth your while anymore because you "messed up." So now you're ignoring your workouts and eating crappy food — just because you felt like it was all or nothing. Well buddy, this attitude — this perfectionism and fear of failure — is the reason you're not finding success. It's time to let go of the idea that you can be perfect at this weight-loss journey — because that will NEVER happen! I'm just going to say it. You're going to fall short sometimes at some things. When it comes to weight-loss, it's guaranteed. There's no straight line from Point A to Point B. You can't just say, "I'm 200 pounds on Day 1, and I'll be 150 pounds on Day 54." There are weight-loss plateaus, bad weeks, parties, holidays, etc., etc. You try as best as you can, but I'm telling you right now it's absolutely NOT all gonna come altogether at once.

Being ambitious is a very good thing — in my life, I wouldn't have gotten to where I am if I didn't reach as high as I could. But if your ambition doesn't come with a little flexibility, you're setting yourself up for disappointment and lost motivation. If you don't allow for setbacks, you're only going to sabotage yourself. As long as you keep trying as hard as you can, you WILL get to your goal. Don't give up halfway through your journey because you didn't hit your goal at the precise moment you thought you would! You HAVE to abandon perfectionism and lose the all-or-nothing attitude. It can be less than 100 percent of what you had envisioned and still be success. The only way you can truly fail is to give up on yourself. One really common manifestation of the fear of failure is procrastination. If you're the person who always says "I'll start exercising next week," or "I'm going to eat just one more triple-decker bacon cheeseburger, then I'll start eating healthy," you need to address the fear underneath this.

We've ALL procrastinated at one time or another...but the stakes are a little higher now than when you were writing your Great Gatsby book report. We're talking about your health — don't you want to take that into your own hands? Then do it NOW. Everybody has obstacles to work through, but if you don't even start because you don't believe you have the ability to do it "right," you're just failing yourself. If you don't succeed at first, just give it another shot. One setback doesn't make the whole effort worthless — so don't believe if you had just never tried, then you wouldn't have failed. If you have people in your life who tell you that, you need to get them out of your life or tell them that what you're doing is about YOU. You have to accept the ups and downs as exactly what they are — small wins and small losses that you'll experience throughout the rest of your life. If you're having trouble getting started, or if you're feeling discouraged about not being where you want to be yet, break down your goals into smaller pieces — I promise it really does help bring you focus on the little victories along the way.

Whether you want to lose 10 or 100 pounds, you're not going to do it flawlessly. Accept that now, and don't dwell on the slip-ups. When you get frustrated, beat through that barrier, and become a stronger person for it. Now tell me what you're going to do to abandon the need to do everything perfectly, every time.

xoxo,J

Keeping Track of my Progress ...

«--The picture on top was my wake-up call.

The pictures on the left we're taken somewhere in August/September (about 4 months later).

The ones on the right were taken somewhere in October (about 5 months later).

These are a few before/after shots I took. I should've taken them at the very beginning of my journey since these were taken about 2 months after. I still have a long way to go, some 50 more pounds, but I truly believe that this time will be the "right time". *Fingers crossed*

There it is! I absolutely hate doing this but I have no choice. I need this as a constant reminder of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. To me, it's one thing having people notice that the pounds are coming off but it's totally something else when it comes to "stubborn old me" seeing it with my own 2 eyes.

So yes, I'm losing, I'm shrinking .. it's great. I just wish that I would lose more but that may stem from my "Biggest Loser" overdose. It's unrealistic for me to think that I can pull such huge numbers. On the other hand, I'm proud of my progress so far, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.

I'm learning so much from this. I wouldn't even know where to start.

I haven't stepped on the scale since my last weigh-in so that's something I'll be doing this week.

Alrighty, off to the gym!

Because I'm Worth It !

Why am I doing all of this?

Why wouldn't I? Because I'm worth it!

Time flies! I cannot believe that it has already been 4 months. So much has changed in those four months. Most importantly, I've realized that I'm much more stronger both mentally & physically than I thought I ever was. On a more realistic note, I know that the journey is far from over, truth is, it'll never be but I'm sooo glad it started when it did.

When I come to think of it, I've been robbed. "The weight" has robbed me from so many things such as having fun, dating, feeling good about myself and so many other dreams. I just had my "ha ha" moment and knew that something had to happen. I was always the one walking in peoples' shadow always unnoticed. I was the one who would voluntarily isolate myself because I didn't feel worthy. I was the one who would cry myself to sleep thinking "why me?". I am not saying that I got rid of all my insecurities in 4 months but I'm so much more aware of them now and I'm more than willing to do something about it.

I've banned the D-word aka diet. I'm not on a diet, it's a lifestyle change. A change I'm absolutely loving. What does it consist of? Healthy diet and exercise. Loading up on lean meats, fruits and veggies and being a slave to the gym.

Where did I get my inspiration from?

Biggest Loser, the fifth season! I have watched the show in the past but I'd be eating my junk food envying them like crazy wishing I had the same opportunity. I still can't understand why there isn't a Canadian Biggest Loser. I mean, they went all the way to Australia! So, the day after the finale, I ran to Chapters to purchase Jillian Michaels' (one of the trainers on the show) book called "Winning by Losing". We've all bought several diet books and stuff but honestly, that woman knows her stuff. If it wasn't for her, I don't know where I'd be! I ended up watching the Australian version of the show on YouTube, all 3 seasons, in a month and got a trainer and it has started from there ... I'm forever thankfulWhy am I doing all of this?


Why wouldn't I? I'm worth it! So are YOU !!!!

Eye Opening Reality Check! "The before" vs & "the 4 months later" ...

Reality check!

As a was saying in my previous post, I was sorting through pictures of myself which I believe will help me keep track or my progress and stay focused.

The picture on top is the "now picture". The other one is the dreaded before picture.

The before was taken at last year's Christmas party (December 2007) at my heaviest (about 230/235 pounds). You can clearly see that I'm trying to hide my stomach area hoping that I would look smaller but ... please! Boy, was I foolish for believing that. I don't have too many pictures because I was really good at running away from the camera.

In the now/4 months later picture, I had to crop my head out because I had a 'fro going on, was taken last week (October 2008) after having lost a little over 30 pounds. I still have a long way to go, I'm aiming to lose another 55 pounds by the way ...

There is no way I want to go back to my old habits, no thanks! So, I'm going to keep it up and finally do this for myself.

Weight Loss Update ..

I'm back! I'm not the greatest blogger and I know it's been a while.I'm I guess I've been so caught up in my weight loss regimen. I'm proud to say that I'm still shrinking and that I'm down 32 pounds now. I know it's nowhere near Biggest Loser numbers but a lost is a lost and being 32 pounds lighter sure feels great.

I was sorting through old photos and I still can't believe what possessed me to let myself get that heavy. One thing for sure is that I refuse to go back to my old habits. I was at my heaviest, 235 pounds on a 5'4 frame. Although I knew that I was (and still am) heavy, I did not feel fat except when I was around thinner people. "I'll start tomorrow, I'll start the day after", I'm so glad that that day has finally arrived and happy that it changed my life.

What's my secret?

1. Exercise and healthy diet. I work out 5 to 6 times a week (I do both cardio & a weight training program).
2. Watching "The Biggest Loser" and listening to Jillian Michaels' radio show.
3. Hard work and dedication.
4. Really wanting it for yourself
5. And ... a support network!

52 more pounds to go! I can do it!