ShrinkingDiva's Still Going Strong

I have to stop doing that! Where have I been? I know, it's been a while. Believe it or not, I've been extremely busy working out at the gym and listening to Jillian Michaels' podcasts. I barely remember how to use my television, except on Tuesdays of course when Biggest Loser is on!



My blog title is pretty much self-explanatory. I'm still at it, still going strong and enjoying every minute of it. It's hard to believe that it took me 26 years (I'm 26) to get here and finally start to do something good for myself. I've been good and haven't given in to temptations. I didn't cut out everything cold turkey, I do indulge at time but intelligently and with moderation. I'll have a piece of cake or chocolate and not the whole thing times 2,3 even 5 that I did for so long. It's no wonder I got so big.



- What was I afraid of?

It's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately. What was I really afraid of? What caused me to turn to food to solve my problems? Why was I never ever able to believe that I could lose the weight? I'm sure many of you guys can relate to this but food was my drug of choice, it would never let me down. My eating habits were so out of whack just thinking about it makes me want to puke.



2 years ago, I was dealing with a lot of things (work, stress, family issues, etc). I would go to McDonalds and order a BigMac, supersize the fries, had an apple juice to cut down on some of the calories AND added 12 nuggets to that. I would then sneak the food home, lock myself in the basement and ate until I felt numb only to go straight to bed. I would repeat the same thing the very next day several times a week ... And that's just an example. Even though I had been to the gym off and on, exercise back then was a foreign concept to me.



I think it was a way for me to hide those emotions of fear, failure, rejection or loneliness I was feeling. I was afraid to embark on a weight loss journey convinced that I would fail. Shoving food down my throat muted those feelings and that's why I probably did it for so long. I loved it more than I loved myself. In fact, I hated myself. Knowing that I was missing out on so much, it just filled that void. My friends would spend the day with their partner & kids ... well, I had to spend mine with food, again!





I'm absolutely loving this journey of mine, I'm finally getting to know myself.



Enough rambling for now, I'll keep the rest for next time!

A Jillian Michaels Blog: Ditch the Fear of Screwing Up

I just love Jillian, she's the best! I'm attributing my success to her and she's my motivation. Yeah, I know, I haven't had the chance to meet her ... yet! Thanks Jillian !
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Ditch the Fear of Screwing Up (Jillian Michaels).

Let me give you a scenario. You were working out hard and eating right, but then you had one slip-up. You skipped a workout one day, or you overstuffed yourself at dinner one night. So then you decided this whole diet-and-exercise thing wasn't worth your while anymore because you "messed up." So now you're ignoring your workouts and eating crappy food — just because you felt like it was all or nothing. Well buddy, this attitude — this perfectionism and fear of failure — is the reason you're not finding success. It's time to let go of the idea that you can be perfect at this weight-loss journey — because that will NEVER happen! I'm just going to say it. You're going to fall short sometimes at some things. When it comes to weight-loss, it's guaranteed. There's no straight line from Point A to Point B. You can't just say, "I'm 200 pounds on Day 1, and I'll be 150 pounds on Day 54." There are weight-loss plateaus, bad weeks, parties, holidays, etc., etc. You try as best as you can, but I'm telling you right now it's absolutely NOT all gonna come altogether at once.

Being ambitious is a very good thing — in my life, I wouldn't have gotten to where I am if I didn't reach as high as I could. But if your ambition doesn't come with a little flexibility, you're setting yourself up for disappointment and lost motivation. If you don't allow for setbacks, you're only going to sabotage yourself. As long as you keep trying as hard as you can, you WILL get to your goal. Don't give up halfway through your journey because you didn't hit your goal at the precise moment you thought you would! You HAVE to abandon perfectionism and lose the all-or-nothing attitude. It can be less than 100 percent of what you had envisioned and still be success. The only way you can truly fail is to give up on yourself. One really common manifestation of the fear of failure is procrastination. If you're the person who always says "I'll start exercising next week," or "I'm going to eat just one more triple-decker bacon cheeseburger, then I'll start eating healthy," you need to address the fear underneath this.

We've ALL procrastinated at one time or another...but the stakes are a little higher now than when you were writing your Great Gatsby book report. We're talking about your health — don't you want to take that into your own hands? Then do it NOW. Everybody has obstacles to work through, but if you don't even start because you don't believe you have the ability to do it "right," you're just failing yourself. If you don't succeed at first, just give it another shot. One setback doesn't make the whole effort worthless — so don't believe if you had just never tried, then you wouldn't have failed. If you have people in your life who tell you that, you need to get them out of your life or tell them that what you're doing is about YOU. You have to accept the ups and downs as exactly what they are — small wins and small losses that you'll experience throughout the rest of your life. If you're having trouble getting started, or if you're feeling discouraged about not being where you want to be yet, break down your goals into smaller pieces — I promise it really does help bring you focus on the little victories along the way.

Whether you want to lose 10 or 100 pounds, you're not going to do it flawlessly. Accept that now, and don't dwell on the slip-ups. When you get frustrated, beat through that barrier, and become a stronger person for it. Now tell me what you're going to do to abandon the need to do everything perfectly, every time.

xoxo,J

Because I'm Worth It !

Why am I doing all of this?

Why wouldn't I? Because I'm worth it!

Time flies! I cannot believe that it has already been 4 months. So much has changed in those four months. Most importantly, I've realized that I'm much more stronger both mentally & physically than I thought I ever was. On a more realistic note, I know that the journey is far from over, truth is, it'll never be but I'm sooo glad it started when it did.

When I come to think of it, I've been robbed. "The weight" has robbed me from so many things such as having fun, dating, feeling good about myself and so many other dreams. I just had my "ha ha" moment and knew that something had to happen. I was always the one walking in peoples' shadow always unnoticed. I was the one who would voluntarily isolate myself because I didn't feel worthy. I was the one who would cry myself to sleep thinking "why me?". I am not saying that I got rid of all my insecurities in 4 months but I'm so much more aware of them now and I'm more than willing to do something about it.

I've banned the D-word aka diet. I'm not on a diet, it's a lifestyle change. A change I'm absolutely loving. What does it consist of? Healthy diet and exercise. Loading up on lean meats, fruits and veggies and being a slave to the gym.

Where did I get my inspiration from?

Biggest Loser, the fifth season! I have watched the show in the past but I'd be eating my junk food envying them like crazy wishing I had the same opportunity. I still can't understand why there isn't a Canadian Biggest Loser. I mean, they went all the way to Australia! So, the day after the finale, I ran to Chapters to purchase Jillian Michaels' (one of the trainers on the show) book called "Winning by Losing". We've all bought several diet books and stuff but honestly, that woman knows her stuff. If it wasn't for her, I don't know where I'd be! I ended up watching the Australian version of the show on YouTube, all 3 seasons, in a month and got a trainer and it has started from there ... I'm forever thankfulWhy am I doing all of this?


Why wouldn't I? I'm worth it! So are YOU !!!!