Weight Loss Battle

Onederland & Story About my Weight

Onederland feels absolutely great, I can't complain. What a great feeling to be in Onederland but by having done it the right way. 8 years ago when I graduated from high school, my highest weight ranged between 210-215 lbs. Fed up of the extra weight, I decided to go on a diet. Yes, a diet NOT a lifestyle change. I did it my way: calorie restricted & no carbs allowed. I'm guessing that I consumed at the most 700 calories a day. I went to eating fast food 3 times/day everyday to drastically reducing my calorie intake so it's no wonder the weight came off that quickly!

I got down to 180 lbs and it felt great having people complimenting you every second of every day. 180lbs without exercise! At 18, I had all the attention I've ever wanted and more. Since I had reached my goal weight, I felt comfortable enough to reincorporate the same foods that had made me heavy. I thought I had the whole concept of "moderation & willpower" figured out. In a blink of an eye, I had gained the weight back. 8 years later, I found myself weighing 235 lbs. Yikes!

8 years later (I'm now 25), I'm realizing how much the extra weight has robbed me from things especially from dating. It's hard to openly admit to friends & family, that you've never dated or been intimate while other people your age have or are having children, getting married and such ... I've made up imaginary guy friends, boyfriends because I didn't want to feel like a loser. Today, I completely avoid the topic.

With knowing what I know now about health and fitness, diets don't work! The minute you go back to your old ways, the weight will come back and more. When I look back at it, I can believe how stupid I was. Actually, I was young, naive and uninformed.

I lost 38 pounds (went from 235 to 197) and I've got 47 more pounds to go!

Superficial People

Shallow people ...
I can't believe how superficial people can be. I've been discriminated against all my life because of my weight so that's nothing new to me. For the first time in years, I'm starting to feel good about myself. I'm noticing the changes in my body and words can't describe how great it feels.

I go to the gym 5 to 6 times a week, I literally live there. The manager was recruiting people for a videoclip they're making to promote the gym and they needed about 10 to 15 people. The idea was to film a step class from one of the instructors. I love step and I'm quite good at it (and no, I'm not showing off). I saw the gym owner approaching people for the video. They all had one thing in common: good looking girls & guys in their mid-twenties/early thirties with gorgeous bodies and guys with 6 packs and all.

I was never approached and I frustrated me. A friend of mine was chosen and she's the lucky one with the nice body but never ever did aerobics in her life. She's never had issues with her weight and goes to the gym 3 times a month maximum. She admitted to me that she probably ruined the whole thing because she's never done step in her life! She had the hardest time following the choreography and was out of breath before the warm-up was over.

The thing that frustrates me the most is not that I wasn't chosen. What irritates me the most is that the people that were chosen are not representative of the people who go to the gym that is old & young, fit & fat, black or white, etc. I feared the gym for many years because of that because I thought I wouldn't fit in.

It made me feel like I wasn't good enough again and it sucks. I'm getting over it but it's so frustrating! Can't wait to see how that video will turn up ...

Alright, enough!

Later